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The Sad Circus by the Sea - Endless Parachutes
- - SAG Actor (Voice of GIR from Invader ZIM), creator of comics, writer of books, feeder of cats, Augmented Realist. - - Bio - - Twitter - - FaceBook - - Comics --
December 2010
 
 
 
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Tue, May. 11th, 2010 03:35 pm
Endless Parachutes

This conversation I had with Aaron A. started off about my childhood hatred for the A-Team, but somehow we ended up discussing the very import practicalities of parachutes in the old G.I. Joe cartoons.



Rikki: I had only one friend who was into the A-Team when I was a kid. He was a super born again Christian who lived in a filthy house. He was so greasy, he looked like a walking oil slick. I got lice from him.

Aaron: I don't think I've ever seen an episode of that show.

Rikki: It's simple. They're on the lam from The Gov'ment, having been accused of a military crime they did not commit. The Gov'ment is unable to find a black van with red trim anywhere in the USA. The ex-soldiers make a living by hiring themselves out as saintly mercenaries. They spray bullets EVERYWHERE and no one ever gets killed. Thank you Jesus.

Aaron: Oh, so it's like in G.I. Joe where every time you saw a plane blow up, they'd be sure to include an image of a guy with a parachute leaping out.

Rikki: We used to joke that someday we'll see a guy jump out of a tank in a parachute.

Aaron: If I were in charge, every time you saw a guy get shot in the chest, a parachute would burst open behind him. He'd just be laying there, chest like hamburger, parachute fluttering in the breeze.

Rikki: That's the GI Joe movie I'd go see.

Aaron: Maybe there'd be a scene of Cobra Commander arguing with Destro about the Cobra parachute policy. "PARACHUTES SOLVE EVERYTHING!" he would scream.

Rikki: He would demonstrate by popping the parachute in his silver faceplate.

Aaron: "You see? My deformed face is now whole again!"

Rikki: "No it isn't --" "INSOLENCE!!"

Aaron: He hits a button that forces Destro's parachute to unfurl. It drags him out of the room.

Rikki: Later we see Destro sitting at the Cobra Lounge. The waiter brings him a glass of milk. It pops a parachute and he weeps.

Aaron: He just watches as the chute sadly wafts to a stop over his milk. And hangs himself by a parachute later that day.

Rikki: But be doesn't die. He's too heavy and made of metal. The rope breaks and his parachute pops before he hits the ground.

Aaron: G.I. Joe: Endless Parachutes.

Rikki: Theme song.

Current Music: Fish and Bird by Tom Waits

5CommentReplyShare

shadrad
shadrad
Shadra D
Tue, May. 11th, 2010 10:38 pm (UTC)

I would watch this movie.

Twice.


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kittening
kittening
Wed, May. 12th, 2010 01:16 am (UTC)

I am Gov'ment man! Come from the Gov'ment! >^-^


ReplyThread
littleninjafox
littleninjafox
Jenna
Wed, May. 12th, 2010 02:36 am (UTC)

That is so not right on so many levels.
I would watch the crap outta it though.


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muffins_of_god
muffins_of_god
muffins_of_god
Wed, May. 12th, 2010 04:05 am (UTC)

I would watch that movie.

And I would be crying from laughter as I currently am.

Damn.


ReplyThread
erinaf
erinaf
Erin
Fri, May. 14th, 2010 12:06 am (UTC)
Hahaha

Nice! That certainly would have been much better than the actual G.I. Joe movie!


ReplyThread